Uncle Jen’s Official
✨Wizard Certificate✨
Yes, I’m actually qualified… And also sacredly feral.
Welcome to my unofficial-official résumé — part synopsis, part survival story. Here’s how I became the brain/body wizard you see before you…
Professional Credentials
TX Licensed Massage Therapist #142584
Massage Therapy Training — 2012
Completed at Texas Healing Arts Institute in Austin, TX. 500-hours of training in anatomy, kinesiology, and the subtle art of coaxing tension out of emotionally-repressed glutes.
Lomi Lomi Apprenticeship — 2014-2016
Mentored in Temple-Style Huna Bodywork, under the lineage of Abraham Kawai’i via Lisa Norman in Bastrop, TX. A rite-of-passage massage ceremony designed to help your body release + rebirth through sacred touch, deep presence, and mind-melting rhythm.
Structural Integration Training — 2016-2017
Completed at The Dr. Ida Rolf Institute in Boulder, CO. 600+ hours of advanced training in anatomy + kinesiology, the neuroscience of bodywork, and fascial manipulation for psycho-bio-social integrity.
Integrative Coaching Training — 2023
Trained in Integrative Changework by Melissa Tiers & Simone Seol, and Certified by the Ethical Coaching Collective. Learned how to use nervous system wizardry, guided visualization, memory re-consolidation, and parts work to change feelings + behavioral patterns.
Honorable Mention: A.A.S. in Photography & Digital Imaging — 2009-2011
Didn’t quite complete this program before changing tracks, but it’s worth mentioning because it’s where my the seeds for my art (including Power Portraits!) were planted — blending aesthetic intuition with soul storytelling.
Independent Studies
These books have become deeply integrated into my work, my lens, and my personal healing:
Waking the Tiger and In an Unspoken Voice by Peter Levine
Bodymind by Ken Dychtwald
Urban Shaman by Serge Kahili King
The School of Life
Childhood in an Emotionally Insecure Family System
Graduated summa cum laude in People Pleasing, Emotional Hypervigilance, and Strategic Numbing.
Adult Child of Alcoholics (ACOA)
Specialized in boundary issues, shame spirals, and the art of performing fine-ness under pressure.
Late-Diagnosed ADHD & CPTSD
Advanced coursework in executive dysfunction, time bending, emotional flashbacks, and disappearing into blankets.
Lived Experience of Deep Healing
Years of receiving EMDR, Internal Family Systems, somatic coaching, and bodywork — I’ve been on that table, bb. I know how tender this shit is.
Skills + Superpowers
Nervous System Translator™ (fluent in Freeze, Fawn, and Funky Vibes)
Spiral Companion Extraordinaire
Meme Witch / Pattern Seer / Soft Dom
Trauma-sensitive touch magician
ADHD-to-English Interpreter
Master of Mid-Session Plot Twists
Wildly qualified to say: “You’re not too much, and you never were.”
The Wizard’s Creed
My Magical Mission is to help perfectionists, people pleasers, adult children of emotionally immature parents, and other tender-hearted weirdos come back home to themselves. I support deep nervous system healing and sustainable change — without requiring you to pretend you’re someone you’re not.
I want your healing to feel like liberation — not just symptom relief.
I want your growth to feel embodied — not performative.
And I want you to walk away knowing that you’ve always had the power — I’m just here to hold the mirror and make sure you pack enough snacks.
I Believe:
that healing doesn’t have to be boring, clinical, or sanitized.
that your nervous system isn’t broken — it’s brilliant.
that your weirdness is sacred.
that we can choose rebellious softness, fierce self-trust, and authentic joy even when the world is on fire.
My Practice is:
Client-centered.
Trauma-informed.
Nervous system literate.
Rooted in unconditional positive regard and a refusal to bypass.
Non-hierarchical, anti-coercive, curious over correct, and always growing.
I Promise:
I will never treat you like a project to fix. You are not broken.
I will never try to be your guru. You’re the authority on your own damn life.
I will always ask before going deep. Consent is sacred.
I will hold your whole self — grief, rage, confusion, desire — with warmth and non-judgment.
I will use tools that are evidence-based and soul-honoring.
I will work in service of your agency, not my ego.
I will never weaponize coaching language or pressure you into buying things.
I will speak from my values, even when it’s messy or uncomfortable.
I will prioritize integrity over performance. People over profit. Presence over perfection.
I will stay awake to both systemic pain and personal magic.
I will keep showing up, keep learning, and keep it weird.
If I’m not the right fit for you, I’ll say so.
If something’s not working, we’ll talk about it.
If you ever feel unsure, I’ll slow down and sit in that uncertainty with you.
You are in charge of you. Always.
