Invest your emotional energy wisely
People pleasers are typically very empathic, generous people. But, without strong boundaries, we can easily be manipulated by those who feel entitled to our emotional labor.
Emotional labor can be:
paying attention
learning
self-regulating
validating + empathizing
communicating non-violently
These things require significant energy. Like money or physical energy, emotional energy is not something we can expend endlessly. It takes time + effort + resources to recuperate. If we overextend ourself, there are consequences.
And so, just like you don’t owe it to just anybody to help them move or pay for their bills, you don’t owe them your emotional + energetic participation either.
You may *want* to invest your energy in those ways; but generally only for certain people — for relationships that feel rewarding. To quote Dr. Joe Dispenza, “Giving should feel like receiving, when it’s done in love.”
So, you don’t have to be open to advice from people who you didn’t ask. You don’t have accept criticism from people who don’t regard you with respect. You don’t have to engage with people who can’t communicate or express love in the ways that you are able to receive.
Your emotional energy is yours to spend — invest wisely.